Showing posts with label inspire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspire. Show all posts

Hidden Beauty

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , Friday, January 4, 2013 1:28 PM

No longer hiding what is naturally been beautiful about me; my truth to myself.
 ~Stylicia A. Bowden~
 
 
It's official 2013 is now here and as quickly as it was ushered in it will quickly roll pass too. Alot of people have jumped on the New Year's Resolution bandwagon saying "This year will be different". I often ponder wondering what will be different about this new year for me. I choose not to do resolutions but set goals, create a plan and effectively strategize to live the life I deserve. I am tired of speaking things without putting the action behind it so 2013 for me represents "Just Do It" motto coined by Nike. In this phenomenal journey I believe it is also time to unveil hidden parts of me to embrace the authentic self. In every women's life it comes a time where she has to be real with herself because the lies start to drain her energy. When you lie to yourself you set yourself up for disappointment, wreckless behavior and falsifying who you are. It is not appealing to live your life in manipulating yourself and pretending. I have came to the conclusion that being real with me is the only option I deserve because it helps me embrace every aspect of myself. I no longer want to hide my true emotions or accept things that are below my standards. So many women hide their true self in hopes of maintaining false relationships. Sometimes we bargain our happiness to trade it in for lies. I understood how important it was for me to start being real with myself so I can get what I deserve. I got tired of living in my disillusional world and fairytale life. I had to be willing to say what I really desired in my life and what I was allowing to hold me back from love, life and happiness. 2013 is a year for me to live life in no regrets, unveil my hidden beauty and just do it. Whatever your allowing to stop you from living then be honest about it and face it. Stop accepting life as it is and say how you really feel, what you really desire and what is blocking you. The greatest accomplishment in your life is being true to yourself because "honesty is the best policy". Honesty is the only solution to accept who you are to bring forth a natural you. A natural woman is a woman who can say No and mean it & say "I really desire or want this..." "I do not want this or that". This natural woman will not compromise her truth to live a fabricated life because she will never be happy. When she is truthful she will be willing to miss out on some opportunities because she is waiting on the opportunity she desires and will not settle. She choose not to fill the voids in her life with temporary nonsense just to prove to others she has someone or something. Instead she waits patiently in her truth because her truth has set her free. 

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This Girl Is On Fire!

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , Wednesday, November 14, 2012 2:38 AM

“Becoming my new self, some people didn’t understand me anymore. Some people who I knew for years—we couldn’t be on the same page anymore. That’s OK because that’s part of growing, too. The hardest thing is to trust yourself, to know that what you’re feeling is valid. A lot of times we dismiss our feelings. I realized that I can trust myself and say, ‘No, I’m not comfortable with that.’ That was the toughest part. When I finally had the bravery to do that, that’s when I started to feel on fire.” ~Alicia Keys (intercept from Complex Mag Interview Nov 13, 2012)



I remember clear as day when I first became a fan of Alicia Keys it was while I was stationed in Jacksonville, Florida. I heard her first hit song Fallin' off her debut album Songs in A Minor, her vocals and talent blew me away. It was refreshing to hear a woman singer who sung about positive things and showcased women in a positive manner. In all her videos Keys always kept it classy and I truly respect her for that. She has changed throughout the years but I can truly say I have changed with her in her musical journey. I can honestly say I own every album from Song in A Minor to The Element of Freedom. When I first heard Girl On Fire I realized there was a new Alicia emerging from a new place. I did not automatically love it but because I am a fan I was urged to read the lyrics to the song. Once I read the lyrics to the song I became a fan of this song because I could relate to the words she bellowed out. Girl On Fire is a true testament of my journey into a brand new me and embracing the new person I am right now. Alicia Keys new album is entitled "Girl On Fire" with two hit songs already New Day (which is my favorite song thus far) and Girl on Fire. Girl On Fire is so motivating to me because after losing my two year old daughter five years ago a new me was emerging from the pain, bitterness, anger and so many other embedded emotions. Through this life altering event I was faced to deal with my personal issues from passiveness, mental & emotional abuse, self neglect, toxic relationships, growing apart in friendships and so much more. The song is a true testament of my evolution and embracing a better me, a whole new me on a whole new level. Although I have changed I refuse to let anyone put me back in the box, I am striving to stay on fire for what I want to accomplish in life. I stop making excuses and start making things happen in my life to me that is the true definition of a Girl On Fire. I even had to add this song to my morning inspirational list because when the world sometimes get too surreal I have to be reminded that the road may be lonely but I will stay on fire for all that I am setting my mind to accomplish while I am still on this Earth. Alicia Keys is truly a Girl On Fire who is not scared to grow, fly and leave some things behind. After reading the interview from  Complex magazine I became more of a fan because she really explained where she is in her life and how being the new her is refreshing. She also talked about the graduation from a girl to a woman which I can relate to that on all levels (LOL). I have been a girl trapped for a long time but when I turned 30 the woman in me started to emerge I started to focus on nurturing myself more and taking care of me. I no longer put myself on the back burner but started to feel comfortable in my skin. I really started living and stop taking life for granted. I had to step back, reflect and meditate on where I want to go and what I wanted to do; in this redefining moment I could relate to being a Girl On Fire who now has became a woman on fire!

Here is a couple of quote commentary from Alicia Keys interview with Complex Magazine interview (November 13, 2012) that stood out to me:

It’s not a departure. It’s growth. I love the way that I’ve been able to go deeper into my lyrics and my songwriting and go to a place I was too afraid to access before.

Because I started so young, so much of my life has been like catching up to myself—or trying to run underneath myself so I’m not falling. I finally stepped back and was able to look at it all and say ‘Wow.’ No complaints. I’m glad to be where I am and have this life. But it could be different. I don’t want to have the type of life where I’m not living or I’m always working or always fitting into whatever perfect box. I don’t want that type of hectic life. I don’t want people in my life that encourage that in any way. I’m not my old self anymore.

Becoming my new self, some people didn’t understand me anymore. Some people who I knew for years—we couldn’t be on the same page anymore. That’s OK because that’s part of growing, too. The hardest thing is to trust yourself, to know that what you’re feeling is valid. A lot of times we dismiss our feelings. I realized that I can trust myself and say, ‘No, I’m not comfortable with that.’ That was the toughest part. When I finally had the bravery to do that, that’s when I started to feel on fire.

The whole freaking world is looking at your [stuff]. It’s scary. I didn’t want to say every single thing because you don’t want people to know that. There’s personal and there’s public, and I deserve the right to have a personal space.

References: Kenner, R. (2012, November 13). Retrieved from Complex: http://www.complex.com/music/2012/11/alicia-keys-december-2012-january-2013-cover-story/page/2



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Tis' The Season to Be Colorful

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Friday, November 2, 2012 7:46 AM

Do not be a drab, be fab & colorful! ~Stylicia~

Fall has quickly slipped in and summer has gracefully left us. However, now that summer is gone the autumn weather will seep in with cooler temperatures forcing us to put on more layers of clothes. Summer exhibits a wide spectrum of bright colors while autumn  tends to bring in the lackluster of colors ranging from blue, black and gray. But this season you do not have to look like a drab for the autumn season because bold colors have taken form for Fall/Winter 2012. During the New York Fashion week bold bright and edgy colors ripped the runaway at the beginning of this year. So, this season its time to take out those bold colors to  implement them in your fall/winter wardrobe. Vibrant colors bring sexiness, fun and joy  into your personality. I decided that color would be my best friend in this season as I introduced it slowly into my fall/winter collection . It is fun to learn new ways to have fun with your fashion wardrobe. Recently, I realized I love loafers, this will be my signature style for the fall/winter months. I decided to use scarves as a colorful neck accessory for this season as well. If you are clueless on how to implement color gracefully and tastefully in your wardrobe this season I will provide a couple of helpful tips to get you in the game! If you are ready to start the journey of color follow the tips below to get you on the move.

Here are the following helpful fashion tips for adding color to your style.

1) Keep It Simple. I realize less is more so slowly add a splash of color in your fall/winter 2012 wardrobe by wearing a colorful scarf around your neck. Make sure the scarf is the only thing that stands out in your wardrobe. Try new colors you never tried before you never know what will work for your skin tone. 


2) Be Colorblind. Do not be scared to mix up colors in your wardrobe. Have fun color- blocking this fall/winter season.

3) Colorful Worldwide. Be bold and add color internationally in your wardrobe from your hats, shoes to clothes and even makeup. It would be good to take a shopping buddy with you that will help you figure out what colors accent your best features. When it comes to makeup make sure you treat yourself to the MAC makeup counter.

4) Color Me Bad. Have the confidence to wear any color...step out & own your colorful wardrobe palette. 

5) Create Your Mood With Colors. Every color has a meaning find out the meaning to create a certain mood with the color you want to wear. For instance, purple is the color for royalty. So if you want to feel like a queen for a day wear purple. 


The Meaning of Colors:


ColorMeaning
RED:warmth, love, anger, danger, boldness, excitement, speed, strength, energy, determination, desire, passion, courage
ORANGE:cheerfulness, low cost, affordability, enthusiasm, stimulation, creativity, aggression, food
YELLOW:attention-grabbing, comfort, liveliness, cowardliness, hunger, optimism, overwhelm, Summer, comfort, liveliness, intellect, happiness, energy, conflict
GREEN:durability, reliability, environmental, luxurious, optimism, well-being, nature, calm, relaxation, Spring, safety, honesty, optimism, harmony, freshness
BLUE:peace, professionalism, loyalty, reliability, honor, melancholia, boredom, coldness, Winter, depth, stability, professionalism,  honor, trust
PURPLE:power, royalty, nobility, elegance, sophistication, artificial, luxury, mystery, royalty, elegance, magic
GRAY:conservatism, traditionalism, intelligence, serious, dull, uninteresting
BROWN:relaxing, confident, casual, reassuring, nature, earthy, solid, reliable, genuine, Autumn, endurance
BLACK:Elegance, sophistication, formality, power, strength, illegality, depression, morbidity, night, death
WHITE:Cleanliness, purity, newness, virginity, peace, innocence, simplicity, sterility, snow, ice, cold

 


After all is said & done have fun with colors because this is the season to be a rainbow of joy, laughter, prosperity & fun! 

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Liberation From Guilt: Code Let It Go!

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , Friday, October 19, 2012 7:01 AM

You have to be brave enough  to face your guilt & disassociate yourself from the  pain of the past. ~Stylicia~


I have so many unwritten, unfinished stories to tell from my life but I know there is a time and a place to unveil certain aspects about my past. Writing has become a way for me to emotionally disconnect myself from the pain in order to heal from imprints of my past. I believe you do not have to rush to tell your stories but when you are ready to be free your stories, which are God given testimonies help you release the shame. I woke up this morning under the impression that my guilt from my past had been haunting me long enough. When you are no longer afraid to tell people your failures or who you use to be they cannot hold it over your head. You will not hold the past over your own head as well. In the last year I have revealed so much about myself that I would not normally do because I am a very private person. However, when I was able to tell God, "I am ready to be free, I am ready to tell each story at each specific time" that is when my pen flowed so easily just like today. Today, I said out loud "I no longer want to be hostage to guilt anymore" from these simple words my freedom has come and now I can tell this story today. 

When I was 23 years old I got an abortion and I never discussed this with anyone at all. The only person who really knew was my best friend in Detroit. I never felt the need to discuss it because the decision I made was appropriate for me during that time. Many people will judge me and say things that they cannot even relate to until  they have "walked in my shoes". We all have things we wished we never done but some of us are not brave enough to forgive ourselves and repent. Instead we judge others and become hypocritical of other people's situations without understanding their journey. However, I have learned to live in a nonjudgmental zone with people. Judging others will only bring judgement upon yourself (Matthew 7:1). There are many things I could be ashamed about but now I can say "so what" who the son set free is free indeed. Today is a day I feel free to be my authentic self and not care about what others think about me. 

When you hold guilt and shame it will hold you hostage to your past. It will also hold you hostage to feeling obligated to doing things you do not want to do. I have encountered plenty of old friends who were in my life who used my guilty conscious as a way to keep be indebted to them. People who use this type of manipulation prey on your weakness to feel like you owe them something. Be careful with people who try to send you on guilt trips so they can use and abuse you. In order to break the cycle you have to confront your guilt and shame to enter into an agreement of wholeness & forgiving yourself. 

I cannot lie "I feel so free writing this right now" because I can walk in total freedom knowing God has forgiven me and I repented years ago for things of my past. Repentance will bring you into a peaceful place with yourself and God. It does not matter what people will say or how they will feel about me what matters is how I feel about myself and knowing God loves me. I will no longer let my past define me for my next level of living. This path I walk is often lonely because I choose to be real with myself but it has been a rewarding journey for the last 18 months. I can face my guilt and shame just to tell it "You can no longer hold me hostage I have disassociated myself from the past & my future is so much brighter now!"


Be Free, Face Your Fear, Guilt & Shame, Repent, Forgive Yourself & Then rejoice because God has given you a new beginning. Everyday his mercies are new!

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Data Dump:Mental Detox 101 (10 Lessons Learned)

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Wednesday, October 17, 2012 5:47 PM

I think therefore I am. ~Rene Descartes~

Recently I decided to do a 10 day mental detox, I had no idea how the journey would go but I knew my end result would be self fulfilling and rewarding. I planned to be in total solitary confinement with no music, only business related phone conversations, no TV, no social media, prayer, meditation & reading positive or inspirational literature. I learned alot about the power of self-love, self-appreciation, dumping out the negative things in my mental thought process, speaking affirmations over my life and being unapologetic about loving myself unconditionally. Below are 10 important lessons I learned about myself and about my mental capacity.

Here are 10 lessons from my mental detox 101:

1)   Dump The Data. The first day I spent time writing down all my self defeating thoughts. So I begin to pour those negative thoughts, concepts and ideas on paper. I purge myself of all the negative things I thought about my future, my goals and about myself.

2) Refresh. I decide to let the negative thoughts go the second day and I hit refresh on my brain. It was time for my computerized mentality to have a blank motherboard. It was time for new data, installing new R.A.M (Random Access To New Memory).

3) Power of Appreciation.  I realized how much I was starving the appreciation I needed to have for myself. I was constantly waiting for friends and insignificant people to appreciate me but I realize I needed to appreciate myself first. It made me realize how special my gift, talent, skill is to the world and I should not give it away for free. It helped me understand to do special things for myself by myself. Those special events & places I deserve to be the first person to experience them alone (my own personal joys). 

4) Power of Investment. If I don't invest in my greatness how can I attract sowers to sow into my greatness. I am committed to always investing in myself for self improvement mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. No more limitations!

5) Self Love Movement: Self love is a powerful love. Until love is oozing from my pores, this self love journey will never end. Loving myself unconditionally unapologetically! 

6) Purify Me. Stop entertaining negative, toxic things that will easily imprint into my brain. I have to stay mentally clean!

7) Hit Delete. Some mental disruptions are insignificant to  put your  focus on, so weed out the weeds killing your seeds of growth.

8) Let It Flow. Surrounded by so much positivity helped me attract other positive forces like a magnet. When you are mentally positive, positive words flow easily. 

9) Be Fearless. There is no more room for fear I was reminded how being fearless is apart of my physical makeup. I lived in different countries by myself while stationed in the military where fear was never apart of life. I realized how being comfortable is boring, its time to live life on edge again. Adrenaline Rush!

10) Shaking It Up. Shaking up your world with "new" things provokes a change in your mind. It opens your mind to new exciting things. It will help your creativity flow. 

P.S. My mental detox is something I can not afford to do but it is something I committed to do for every month. The first three days of every month I will be in solitary mental confinement. 

So, now I challenge you to take time to do your own Data Dump!


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Unapologetic

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , Friday, October 12, 2012 10:55 AM

I rarely blog about celebrities but we have to understand they are human too and who are we to judge..everything was made through God so none of us are a piece of junk but imperfect masterpieces navigating our way through this thing called life. ~Stylicia~


Rihanna is infamous for being in the news, if it is not about her music it is about her relationship woes with Chris Brown. However, I believe this young lady is still trying  to find out who she really is as a young woman. People have judged her and ridiculed her as if they know the real Robyn "Rihanna". But how can we cast the first stone when we all have a past and we all were 24 years old once upon a time. I remember when I was 24 I was young, carefree, risky and dumb. However, I did what every 24 year old did in life when you are still trying to find your authentic self. Yesterday when I saw the unveiling of Rihanna's new album cover I was awestruck by the message I saw that surrounded her in words. As a poet I saw the artistic style in her message but as a writer I read between the lines to see a young lady who have emotions. We all have emotions but why do we have to be defined by what other people think. A person who is authentic is real with who they are and unapologetic for being who they were born to be. I believe in society we have allowed rules, regulations and people's opinions to conform us to a false image of ourselves. When people had a chance to view Rihanna's interview on Oprah's Next Chapter they saw a young lady who was scared, shy and loving.  We live in a society where image is everything so as a business woman I understand the image of my brand will hurt me or help me. However, I also know what people observe about me through social media does not mean they really know who I am. Everyone has multifaceted sides to who they are depending on who they may be around. When I am at home my daughter sees one side of me, when I am doing business then colleagues will see another side of me and when I am with my family in Detroit I feel free to be totally unadulterated "Stylicia".  Rihanna is a prime example of a young woman in search of love, ruling the world in her genre and being forced to live up to the standards of being a role model to other young girls. However, her message is profound saying " I am who I am, I may be what you think I am but I am unapologetic for being true to myself". The best lesson I took from her new album cover is hiding who you really are will hurt you so it is important to be honest and open with yourself. Authenticity can only be resurrected when you no longer live your life on other people's time table but grow from your mistakes. Growth is a process and Rome was definitely not built over night. We all are handcrafted by God to be a unique extraordinary design framed by him and him alone.

Live Bold. Live Loud. Live Authentically. No apologies needed!

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The Michelle Obama Era

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Wednesday, September 5, 2012 9:14 AM

 
It never does us any justice to live below our standards, to hate anyone, to ridicule or tear down someone else character. We live in a world where anything is possible but we first have to deal with our demons and become better women and men. We have to be willing to stop hiding our greatness & let maturity sprout to its full size so we can be effective in this world & not defective. ~Stylicia~
 
 
Everyone has a calling to be great in their life but we sometimes let circumstances, laziness, excuses, and mediocrity take center stage. We carry baggage that eventually affect our relationships especially our sisterhood. As I have grown in this personal journey in my life I realized how important sisterhood is in my womanhood. If we do not deal with our own demons we will handicap or disable another sister from growing to her full potential. I made a decision this year to get to the root of my issues and deal with them up close to repair the damage done in my own heart and life. I made a decision to unleash my own insecurities & setbacks to become a better sister to my sister girls of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds. I realize it is my duty to be a better woman, to be a whole woman so I can help other women journey into being their authentic self. When you are hurting you cannot be effective in providing help to someone else. It is true hurt people hurt people and it can infect relationships to the core. I have personally experienced in my life sisterhoods growing apart or falling by the wayside because of hidden issues I did not address in my life. However, when you begin to deal with your wounds and face the demons in your closet you can heal. I started to heal when I faced roots that were sprouting from weeds in my own backyard. I tried to help everyone else but I was running from my own emotional baggage. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired when the same issues in my sisterhood were being repeated. I made a decision to be mature enough to deal with me and find out what was the root of my pain, anger, bitterness and often harsh attitude. If we never choose to deal with the root the weeds will continue to sprout in other forms of our lives and then it will have a cyclical effect. We are in an age where women can conquer anything and be whoever they want to be but if we do not face our baggage we will never grow to our full potential. Michelle Obama is a woman I admire because she knows her worth, she has the confidence and boldness to exude her power to change the lives of other people. She uses her power in a profound way to heal, uplift and inspire other women to be powerful effective women. We can learn many things in this era of First Lady Michelle Obama by understanding sisterhood has the power to connect us with your God given purpose. If  we are hurting and need assistance with the healing process maybe we should reach out to people who are qualified for the job such as therapist, psychologist, spiritual leaders etc. When two women are hurting then they cannot be each others strength because it is impossible for two wounded souls to help each other. Since we are now in an age of women evolving, soaring to higher heights we have no excuse not to be great & walk in our God given purpose. Sisterhood is about being whole within yourself so you can help someone else find the path to their authentic self. Let us let go of all the baggage and raise up to the standard of being phenomenal women who can change the world....Let's not forget women of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds can do anything because we are now living in "The Michelle Obama Era".....Let's move out of our own way!

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The Power Of Creativity

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , Thursday, August 23, 2012 7:07 AM


A person that has the power to create but stifles the ability by being passive injures the sanctity of creativity. ~Stylicia~ 

Everyone has an innate ability and power to create or produce something greater than their current situation. However, creativity is connected to our soul where thoughts, ideas, concepts and innovation springs alive in our heart. Creativity is best describe to be something or someone who has a sense of genius. They evoke their creativity by producing a visual perception of life. We often connect creativity to being an artist, poet, singer, dancer or designer but creativity is far beyond those activities. God has given everyone the ability to create because if you can visualize it then you can create it. A person that is deemed a creator has a vision and uses his/her words to produce the atmosphere that they desire. If you feel stuck or stagnant in your life then you have not be assertive about tapping into your creativity. You may have allowed distractions to fog your vision and  take you off course. However, in order to tap into your creative power you have to begin to understand the power of creativity. God created the heavens and earth by speaking into existence his visualization of the world (Genesis 1). Visualizing is an important part of creating because it help you produce the atmosphere you see. If you can imagine the life you dream of and clearly see it then the power of creativity can flourish from your vision. Also speaking the words of life will stimulate the growth of your creativity because it will produce the visualization. Words have a powerful connection in creativity because words are the foundation of creating. If you visualize but never speak of the visual stimuli then it lies dormant in your spirit. Some people have no idea of the power of creativity because they often visualize or dream but never speak the words to create the life they desire. In order to start producing the life you often visualize you first have to understand the steps in tapping into your creativity and then activate your power to produce the life you desire. So, below are quick steps to follow to inspire you to tap into the power of creativity to manufacture the life you desire and often dream of:

1. Blockage: The first step is understand what is blocking your visualization or perception of what you see...(i.e fear, torment, low self esteem, people, distractions, passiveness etc.)

2. Identify the distractions: Understand what is it that take you off course and once you pinpoint the "distracting agent" then find ways to discipline your focus by seeing the "BIG PICTURE"!

3.  Power of Words: In order to create you must attach words to your visual perception so make a list of words that identify with what you see or what you dream of...Make sure the words are a conducive to the atmosphere you wish to create. For example, I visualize myself living in Paris so the words I will attach to my visual perception is: love, muse, traveling, excitement, exploration, Eiffel Tower, French  etc. 

4. Activate: Once you practice the three steps mentioned above then it is time to activate your creative power by being assertive about creating your atmosphere. 
  • Research- You can start by researching on the Internet, buying books or going to the library to get information. 
  • Collect data-Demographics, Statistics etc.  
  • Connect- Start connecting with people who are living the life you desire or have experienced the life you often dream about. Surround yourself with like minded people. 
After you have successfully completed the following steps to guide you then you will be eager to activate the power of your creativity....

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