Showing posts with label authentic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label authentic. Show all posts

10 Lessons From The FLOTUS on Ladyhood & Femininity

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , Monday, January 21, 2013 9:35 AM



Lesson 1: Be a confident woman
Lesson 2: Wear your clothes do not let them wear you!
Lesson 3: Be bold without making excusing for who you are, No validations needed.
Lesson 4: Your beauty is timeless do not force your presence.
Lesson 5: A woman does not have to act like a man to be a woman of wisdom. Act like a lady, think like a lady & embrace your feminine nature.
Lesson 6: Do not try to fit in be the woman God created you to be.
Lesson 7: Its ok to be emotional we are women, lets show our femininity. 
Lesson 8: This is a man's world but without the woman it would be nothing. (James Brown song)
Lesson 9: Be a lady at all times, know your worth & walk as the queen you are!
Lesson 10: Embrace your faith, dismiss drama & speak less. Let your presence be a sounding trumpet. Less is more!

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Hidden Beauty

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , Friday, January 4, 2013 1:28 PM

No longer hiding what is naturally been beautiful about me; my truth to myself.
 ~Stylicia A. Bowden~
 
 
It's official 2013 is now here and as quickly as it was ushered in it will quickly roll pass too. Alot of people have jumped on the New Year's Resolution bandwagon saying "This year will be different". I often ponder wondering what will be different about this new year for me. I choose not to do resolutions but set goals, create a plan and effectively strategize to live the life I deserve. I am tired of speaking things without putting the action behind it so 2013 for me represents "Just Do It" motto coined by Nike. In this phenomenal journey I believe it is also time to unveil hidden parts of me to embrace the authentic self. In every women's life it comes a time where she has to be real with herself because the lies start to drain her energy. When you lie to yourself you set yourself up for disappointment, wreckless behavior and falsifying who you are. It is not appealing to live your life in manipulating yourself and pretending. I have came to the conclusion that being real with me is the only option I deserve because it helps me embrace every aspect of myself. I no longer want to hide my true emotions or accept things that are below my standards. So many women hide their true self in hopes of maintaining false relationships. Sometimes we bargain our happiness to trade it in for lies. I understood how important it was for me to start being real with myself so I can get what I deserve. I got tired of living in my disillusional world and fairytale life. I had to be willing to say what I really desired in my life and what I was allowing to hold me back from love, life and happiness. 2013 is a year for me to live life in no regrets, unveil my hidden beauty and just do it. Whatever your allowing to stop you from living then be honest about it and face it. Stop accepting life as it is and say how you really feel, what you really desire and what is blocking you. The greatest accomplishment in your life is being true to yourself because "honesty is the best policy". Honesty is the only solution to accept who you are to bring forth a natural you. A natural woman is a woman who can say No and mean it & say "I really desire or want this..." "I do not want this or that". This natural woman will not compromise her truth to live a fabricated life because she will never be happy. When she is truthful she will be willing to miss out on some opportunities because she is waiting on the opportunity she desires and will not settle. She choose not to fill the voids in her life with temporary nonsense just to prove to others she has someone or something. Instead she waits patiently in her truth because her truth has set her free. 

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The Upgrade Experience

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , Tuesday, December 25, 2012 11:43 PM

The most powerful thing about being a woman is understanding upgrading is a luxury that comes with the maturity of age. ~Stylicia~


2013 is soon to make head way into our lives while 2012 will be a far and distant memory for us. 2012 will be apart of an epic moment but it will be known as our past. The thought of who you are or what you were in 2012 should not be a thought at all. The only thought that should penetrate in your mind is "how will I upgrade myself in 2013". In this last defining month of 2012 I have really embraced myself on a different level. It seems as if everything around me has been upgraded from hair, clothes, style, and all of thee above. God has taken me on an authentic journey for the last year in a half and next year in April I will celebrate my two year authentic journey; the moment I became a free woman. This month I learned how important it is to embrace living well, feeling well and the finer things in life. We were taught only rich people understand what it means to live good and be comfortable. However, living well is not about money it is a mindset. It is a wealth thing not a rich thing. This month I was able to experience the upgrade which included me crossing over to a new level of class, style and embracing the aging process. An epiphany happen this month I tap into the finer things in life like being grateful for what I have, where I am at and where I am going. I decided to do a 10 day gratitude fast speaking sounds of gratefulness to life, love and to the Lord. God has been very good in my life but I took it for granted and did not give thanks for what I have in the now. Once I started to speak words of gratefulness my life has begun to multiply. I had a great desire to look for quality and not quantity anymore in my life. The upgrade experience started in my internal being which has spilled out like an oil leak to the outer parts of my life. This month I went from Coach purses to Michael Kors purses, from rules to my wardrobe color palette to mix match bright colors, shopping at Express (which I love this store & will always shop there) to shopping at White House Black Market and from a chic short hairstyle to a funky do. I realize in the upgrade experience I started to look more mature as I walk boldly into my womanhood. The upgrade experience has just begun this month which has manifested outwardly, lying dormant inwardly.  I can now embrace my sexiness on all levels not being afraid to be a woman who embraces sexiness yet understands elegance is key. It has been such an empowerment for me to allow God to take me through this season of upgrade. I have even upgraded my finances by becoming a better steward of my money and started to save it. It has made me feel so good to at this point in my life to prepare for my future. I prepared for everything else in my life but never for my future. The upgrade experience is an exploration of my whole life transitioning to a new level. 


Ask yourself am I ready to take my life to another level in 2013, is it time to upgrade myself internally and externally and if the answer is Yes, spend the last couple of days of 2012 detoxing your mind  start fresh in 2013. It's time for an upgrade experience and 2013 is a great year to start the process.

Cheers To A New You, Well Defined You and Embracing the Finer Things Life has to Offer You!

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The Biological Clock

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:46 PM

If you are focused on when, what, where & how you will miss out on the now. ~Stylicia~

Lately, I have noticed that specific women I know have confessed their desires to be married and have a kid. They feel like their time is running out and they are never going to get to meet their Boaz. Many women have become fixated on their biological clock running out on them. However, I am a firm believer to understand that God's timing is not predicated on the world's system or timing.  Some women have lost hope on being found and instead of using their time in waiting to work on themselves they have used this time to wallow in loneliness, depression and desperation. I can truthfully say 18 months ago I felt the same way before I started my authentic journey. I tried to make every guy I was involved with my Boaz. This gesture left me empty, used and desperate because I was willing to force the process instead of diligently wait on God. I did not realize the time in waiting was meant for me to become whole. After my last unsuccessful relationship I was faced with the fact that my way was not working so I needed a new plan. Once I yielded my plan unto God I realized I had alot of personal issues that needed to be addressed. I could not be the woman I needed to be in marriage if I did not know the authentic me. I got tired of attracting the same type of guys but quickly I knew it was me that had to change in order for the men to change. I made it a habit to run away from the issues dwelling in my soul. The person I was at the time was dysfunctional. Once I began my journey I had to face a lot of things I was passive about in my life. I was controlling other's lives because my life was out of control. I needed to be true to myself and stop neglecting the woman that was hidden on the inside. So, after the last emotional relationship I decided to get my heart, soul and mind in order. It was time to face my dysfunction and issues. I started my Authentic Journey on April 2011; my life has not been the same. I spent the last 18 months transforming into a new woman. I had no idea who I was because I had a low self worth & self image about myself. I thought sex was love and if a man really got to knew me he would not like me. I understand now that those were false self image mechanisms Satan fed me to believe. I believed them which led me into to the trap of compromise. I compromise my walk with God to fulfill the lust of my flesh. It lead me down a road of having lower self esteem, guilt and shame. However, today I can proudly say that "Stylicia" no longer exist because I know my worth and chose my celibacy journey. I am a new woman learning the new me everyday from my likes to dislikes. I no longer focus on my biological clock because I have become consumed in accomplishing my goals and enjoying life to the fullest. I do know I desire to be married but I am in no rush for it until I am whole. Instead of being consumed with counting down when my biological clock will expire I have been enjoying the time I have being a single woman.I did not cherish my single-hood before but now I can cherish it to the utmost. I have fell in love with this time of soul searching and loving myself totally and completely. So, you single ladies who feel like you will never meet "the one" or your eggs are about to be rotten before you can give birth to another child just remember Sarah (in the bible) was almost 100 years old when she conceived. Stop focusing on the when, who, what and how. While in waiting, this is the perfect time to deal with your  dysfunction & issues. This time should be used to live life to the fullest and finding your purpose. Waiting is preparing.....

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The Individuality Factor: The Nonconformist

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , Monday, November 19, 2012 8:08 PM

Individuality is a beautiful freedom to be totally you.~Stylicia~

In this world we live in being different can sometimes be frowned upon but being an individual carries a lot of freedom yet it also carries a lot of weight. Those who live in a country where conformity is the ideal thing may have a hard time embracing individuality. When I was in the military we all looked alike because we were forced to wear the same uniform. As I begin to spread my wings I realize I was a nonconformist. It was never meant for me to fit in because I embraced my individuality. When you grow up you are never taught that being an individual is powerful. You are taught to do what others tell you to do, be respectful and follow all the rules. Children are never challenged to step outside of their comfort zone and be unique. It is expected for them to go through school make good grades, graduate from high school, go to college and then get married to have kids. However, life is unpredictable and what if they are sidetracked by life unexpected detours, how can they be prepared to stay the course. I believe as parents it is important to teach our kids to be individuals. Let them know its okay not to be in the "popular crowd". It is important to teach them to be who they were created to be. It is such an injustice to not allow children or even ourselves to be the individual that God created us to be. I am challenged everyday to teach my daughter to be an individual and nonconformist. I make sure I actively let her express her individuality in all creative avenues. There is a great amount of freedom with being an individual because it taps into your authenticity. When you are an individual you become a nonconformist. It is a great freedom to be true to who you really are within. 

I would always have issues conforming to things in my military lifestyle because a big part of me wanted to be free. My nine year journey in the military revealed to me that I was such a nonconformist. I believe to some degree I chose to conform to be accepted by the majority. I was never truly happy with being squashed into the status quo of average. When I decided to release myself from the prison of conformity that is when I truly saw my transformation. As I grew from a young lady to a grown woman I truly began to outgrow the box that I was securely placed in those nine years. It was time to break free so I could become the woman God wanted me to be. I was challenged by this new genre of freedom to no longer be meshed with a group of people. I stood out like a widows peak and a part of me wanted to run back to the shelter of belonging but I knew I no longer fit in. It was never meant for me to conform to fit in but it was always meant for me to embrace my individuality and just be true to myself. So many people look for a certain movement to join to feel good about themselves because they are apart of something. But individuality takes courage to defy the odds just to say, "I cannot conform, I will not conform because I am an Authentic Masterpiece". 

Here are a couple of nonconformist I admire (some on this list are deceased but still are iconic):

1) President Barrack Obama
2) Ledisi
3) Mary J. Blige
4) Rihanna
5) Solange Knowles
6) Katy Perry
7) Marilyn Monroe
8) Whitney Houston
9) Bette Davis
10) Britney Spears
11) Lucille Ball
12) First Lady Michelle Obama
13) Jada Pinkett

The list is continuous....  

P.S. Ask Yourself Are You A Conformist or Nonconformist? be honest with yourself.....

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Authentic Fridays Guest Blogger: Ellena Balkcom

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , Friday, November 16, 2012 9:38 AM


The Simple Truth
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined.”
~Henry David Thoreau

Many years ago, early in our marriage, I bought my husband a magnet with this quote. It’s very simple, but quite powerful at the same time. I loved it and I knew it spoke to where we were at the time. We were young and full of hopes, dreams and expectations of great things for our lives. Needless to say, it continues to speak to where we are. We understand now that you don’t ever outgrow or out-achieve the relevance of its meaning, since the journey of dreaming and living is a continuous one.  Since then, Thomas and I collectively have purchased several knick knacks with this quote for both ourselves and others. I guess it’s become sort of a family mantra.
Well, while recently doing research for a writing project at work, I stumbled across Mr. Thoreau’s quote and noticed that a second line was added. Apparently, all my knick knacks didn’t have the quote in its entirety! I’m sure this was just the manufacturer’s way of saving space on small items like magnets and bookmarks, but I was a bit surprised that after all these years, I’ve only been getting only half the message. The entire quote actually reads:
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you
simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.” ~Henry David Thoreau
Again, simple, but powerful! When googling “laws of the universe,” many things popped up. Everything surfaced from the super scientific to the theological and astrological. When one search revealed a broad definition of the 7 Laws of the Universe, it said, “The best definition of Natural Law seems to be that it is the uniform and orderly method of the omnipotent God. Unlike any other form of animal life that has been created, we were given the power of choice or free will; along with this power came certain responsibilities.” After reading this and the complete definition of laws listed on the site, the truth became very clear and simple to me: 1. God has a natural order that our life should mimic, 2. We should trust that God knows and sees all, 3. We have the power to choose every moment and in every situation, and 4. With our choices, come responsibility and consequences (good or bad). Why do we make it so much more complicated?!
For me, as I leave one year and enter another, I desire more than anything, simplicity in my life as it relates to cleaning out the mental, material, and emotional clutter, trimming the physical and financial fat, focusing on the things that really matter and living the life I always imagined for myself and my family. This will allow me to go confidently in the direction of my dreams and actually live the purpose for which I was put on this earth. This may mean saying “no” more, putting my needs and the needs of my family first more, staying focused on the goal without distraction and it may even mean not attempting to be everything to everybody. It turns out that I’ve been making it much harder than it needs to be.
To all of you, I say simplify your life as well, so that the laws of your universe will also be simpler. It just shouldn’t be that complicated in 2012.
An abbreviated version of the 7 laws state:
  1. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation: 

    The law of attraction will deliver to you what you do not want as quickly and as certainly as it will deliver what you do want.
  2. The Law of Relativity: 

    In the study of this law, we find that all things are relative. All laws are related to each other and correspond with each other. The laws of the little are the laws of the great. There is no big nor small, fast nor slow, except by comparison. Whenever the law is properly used, you win. Let's remember that everyone does something better than you and, likewise, you do something better than every person you meet. When you relate something you do that you are not proficient at, to something another person does that they have mastered, you will not look good. You are using the law against yourself. Begin using this law to heighten your self esteem. You will then become aware of how special you are in the light of truth.
  3. The Law of Vibration and Attraction: 

    Everything in the universe vibrates...nothing rests. We really do live in an ocean of motion. This truly contains the great secret of life. You are always moving toward something and it is always moving toward you... it's action and attraction. Thought is the most potent vibration and remember that you can think...that makes you a very special creation (God's greatest masterpiece). You should always be delighted with yourself. (All creation begins in thought.)
  4. The Law of Polarity: 

    Everything in the universe has its opposite. There would be no inside to a room without an outside. If something you considered bad happens in your life, there has to be something good about it. If it was only a little bad, when you mentally work your way around to the other side, you will find it will only be a little good.
  5. The Law of Rhythm: 

    The law of rhythm embodies the truth that everything is moving to and fro, flowing in and out, swinging backward and forward. There is a high and a low tide. Everything is flowing, both in and out, in accordance with the law. There is always a reaction to every action. You are not going to feel good all the time; No one does. If you did, you wouldn't even know it. The low feelings are what permit you to enjoy the high feelings. There will always be highs and lows in life. Reason gives us the ability to choose our thoughts (that is free will). Even when you are on a natural down swing, you can choose good thoughts with your free will and continue to move up toward your goal.
  6. The Law of Cause and Effect: 

    Every cause has its effect; every effect, its cause. There is no such thing as chance. Everything happens according to law. Your physical health, your relationships, the respect you earn, your material income. You must concentrate on the cause, and the effect will automatically take care of itself. That is how the law works.
  7. The Law of Gender: 

    The law of gender manifests in all things as masculine and feminine. It is this law that governs what we know as creation. This is in truth, the creative law. This law decrees everything in nature is both male and female. Both are required for life to exist. This law also decrees that all seeds (ideas are spiritual seeds) have a gestation or incubation period before they manifest. In other words, when you choose a goal or build the image in your mind, a definite period of time must elapse before that image manifests in physical results. 

Ellena Balkcom is Founder and CEO of Written On Purpose Communications (writtenonpurpose.com), creator of the Voice I.D. System of Communication Branding and a former Walt Disney Company Communications professional with nearly 20 years of experience in Marketing, Internal and External Communications. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter @WrittnOnPurpose.

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Data Dump:Mental Detox 101 (10 Lessons Learned)

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Wednesday, October 17, 2012 5:47 PM

I think therefore I am. ~Rene Descartes~

Recently I decided to do a 10 day mental detox, I had no idea how the journey would go but I knew my end result would be self fulfilling and rewarding. I planned to be in total solitary confinement with no music, only business related phone conversations, no TV, no social media, prayer, meditation & reading positive or inspirational literature. I learned alot about the power of self-love, self-appreciation, dumping out the negative things in my mental thought process, speaking affirmations over my life and being unapologetic about loving myself unconditionally. Below are 10 important lessons I learned about myself and about my mental capacity.

Here are 10 lessons from my mental detox 101:

1)   Dump The Data. The first day I spent time writing down all my self defeating thoughts. So I begin to pour those negative thoughts, concepts and ideas on paper. I purge myself of all the negative things I thought about my future, my goals and about myself.

2) Refresh. I decide to let the negative thoughts go the second day and I hit refresh on my brain. It was time for my computerized mentality to have a blank motherboard. It was time for new data, installing new R.A.M (Random Access To New Memory).

3) Power of Appreciation.  I realized how much I was starving the appreciation I needed to have for myself. I was constantly waiting for friends and insignificant people to appreciate me but I realize I needed to appreciate myself first. It made me realize how special my gift, talent, skill is to the world and I should not give it away for free. It helped me understand to do special things for myself by myself. Those special events & places I deserve to be the first person to experience them alone (my own personal joys). 

4) Power of Investment. If I don't invest in my greatness how can I attract sowers to sow into my greatness. I am committed to always investing in myself for self improvement mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. No more limitations!

5) Self Love Movement: Self love is a powerful love. Until love is oozing from my pores, this self love journey will never end. Loving myself unconditionally unapologetically! 

6) Purify Me. Stop entertaining negative, toxic things that will easily imprint into my brain. I have to stay mentally clean!

7) Hit Delete. Some mental disruptions are insignificant to  put your  focus on, so weed out the weeds killing your seeds of growth.

8) Let It Flow. Surrounded by so much positivity helped me attract other positive forces like a magnet. When you are mentally positive, positive words flow easily. 

9) Be Fearless. There is no more room for fear I was reminded how being fearless is apart of my physical makeup. I lived in different countries by myself while stationed in the military where fear was never apart of life. I realized how being comfortable is boring, its time to live life on edge again. Adrenaline Rush!

10) Shaking It Up. Shaking up your world with "new" things provokes a change in your mind. It opens your mind to new exciting things. It will help your creativity flow. 

P.S. My mental detox is something I can not afford to do but it is something I committed to do for every month. The first three days of every month I will be in solitary mental confinement. 

So, now I challenge you to take time to do your own Data Dump!


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Unapologetic

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , Friday, October 12, 2012 10:55 AM

I rarely blog about celebrities but we have to understand they are human too and who are we to judge..everything was made through God so none of us are a piece of junk but imperfect masterpieces navigating our way through this thing called life. ~Stylicia~


Rihanna is infamous for being in the news, if it is not about her music it is about her relationship woes with Chris Brown. However, I believe this young lady is still trying  to find out who she really is as a young woman. People have judged her and ridiculed her as if they know the real Robyn "Rihanna". But how can we cast the first stone when we all have a past and we all were 24 years old once upon a time. I remember when I was 24 I was young, carefree, risky and dumb. However, I did what every 24 year old did in life when you are still trying to find your authentic self. Yesterday when I saw the unveiling of Rihanna's new album cover I was awestruck by the message I saw that surrounded her in words. As a poet I saw the artistic style in her message but as a writer I read between the lines to see a young lady who have emotions. We all have emotions but why do we have to be defined by what other people think. A person who is authentic is real with who they are and unapologetic for being who they were born to be. I believe in society we have allowed rules, regulations and people's opinions to conform us to a false image of ourselves. When people had a chance to view Rihanna's interview on Oprah's Next Chapter they saw a young lady who was scared, shy and loving.  We live in a society where image is everything so as a business woman I understand the image of my brand will hurt me or help me. However, I also know what people observe about me through social media does not mean they really know who I am. Everyone has multifaceted sides to who they are depending on who they may be around. When I am at home my daughter sees one side of me, when I am doing business then colleagues will see another side of me and when I am with my family in Detroit I feel free to be totally unadulterated "Stylicia".  Rihanna is a prime example of a young woman in search of love, ruling the world in her genre and being forced to live up to the standards of being a role model to other young girls. However, her message is profound saying " I am who I am, I may be what you think I am but I am unapologetic for being true to myself". The best lesson I took from her new album cover is hiding who you really are will hurt you so it is important to be honest and open with yourself. Authenticity can only be resurrected when you no longer live your life on other people's time table but grow from your mistakes. Growth is a process and Rome was definitely not built over night. We all are handcrafted by God to be a unique extraordinary design framed by him and him alone.

Live Bold. Live Loud. Live Authentically. No apologies needed!

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The Power In Loving Yourself

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , Thursday, October 11, 2012 9:18 PM

If there is power in loving yourself then why are people doing less of it....

There is a great power in loving yourself from the crown of your head to the sole of your feet. I use to lack this gift of love because I did not believe in putting myself first. I was so use to putting everyone needs before my needs and it drained me. Once I started to love myself unconditionally I felt a sense of self worth. For so long I put my self-worth in people and my identity was stuck in the men I dated and my friends. I had an identity problem which affected my life in a great way. However, when I began to love myself my circle of friends changed and my relationship with men changed as well. I decided to love myself, started to become my own best friend and soon my road became an individual path. The road to self love can sometimes be a lonely road but you have to decide that  loving yourself is worth losing some people. I had the devastating blow of a 14 year  friendship ending over my new found self love. Do I regret the choice? No, I never regret putting my love for myself first. People will  dump all their emotional and mental trash on you as long as you allow them to do it. The road maybe lonesome but becoming your own best friend is optional. It taught me how to dig deep within to give myself what I  needed. Everything we need is planted on the inside of us, but we become busy looking for love, peace, joy, etc. in other people. God has equipped us with all the significant tools to live an abundant life. Whatever we are lacking all we have to do is seek within ourselves to pull out our full potential. Once I began to nurture my love for myself I found my joy, peace, laughter and friendship in myself. I am no longer looking for friendship because I am learning to be my own best friend. I am no longer looking for peace, love or joy because I am discovering it within myself. The journey is endless and the process is continuous to finding  the solutions inside of me yet it is the most rewarding path I have taken....There is a great rewarding power in loving yourself!

P.S. I am unapologetic for choosing me...Never apologize for loving yourself!

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The Michelle Obama Era

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Wednesday, September 5, 2012 9:14 AM

 
It never does us any justice to live below our standards, to hate anyone, to ridicule or tear down someone else character. We live in a world where anything is possible but we first have to deal with our demons and become better women and men. We have to be willing to stop hiding our greatness & let maturity sprout to its full size so we can be effective in this world & not defective. ~Stylicia~
 
 
Everyone has a calling to be great in their life but we sometimes let circumstances, laziness, excuses, and mediocrity take center stage. We carry baggage that eventually affect our relationships especially our sisterhood. As I have grown in this personal journey in my life I realized how important sisterhood is in my womanhood. If we do not deal with our own demons we will handicap or disable another sister from growing to her full potential. I made a decision this year to get to the root of my issues and deal with them up close to repair the damage done in my own heart and life. I made a decision to unleash my own insecurities & setbacks to become a better sister to my sister girls of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds. I realize it is my duty to be a better woman, to be a whole woman so I can help other women journey into being their authentic self. When you are hurting you cannot be effective in providing help to someone else. It is true hurt people hurt people and it can infect relationships to the core. I have personally experienced in my life sisterhoods growing apart or falling by the wayside because of hidden issues I did not address in my life. However, when you begin to deal with your wounds and face the demons in your closet you can heal. I started to heal when I faced roots that were sprouting from weeds in my own backyard. I tried to help everyone else but I was running from my own emotional baggage. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired when the same issues in my sisterhood were being repeated. I made a decision to be mature enough to deal with me and find out what was the root of my pain, anger, bitterness and often harsh attitude. If we never choose to deal with the root the weeds will continue to sprout in other forms of our lives and then it will have a cyclical effect. We are in an age where women can conquer anything and be whoever they want to be but if we do not face our baggage we will never grow to our full potential. Michelle Obama is a woman I admire because she knows her worth, she has the confidence and boldness to exude her power to change the lives of other people. She uses her power in a profound way to heal, uplift and inspire other women to be powerful effective women. We can learn many things in this era of First Lady Michelle Obama by understanding sisterhood has the power to connect us with your God given purpose. If  we are hurting and need assistance with the healing process maybe we should reach out to people who are qualified for the job such as therapist, psychologist, spiritual leaders etc. When two women are hurting then they cannot be each others strength because it is impossible for two wounded souls to help each other. Since we are now in an age of women evolving, soaring to higher heights we have no excuse not to be great & walk in our God given purpose. Sisterhood is about being whole within yourself so you can help someone else find the path to their authentic self. Let us let go of all the baggage and raise up to the standard of being phenomenal women who can change the world....Let's not forget women of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds can do anything because we are now living in "The Michelle Obama Era".....Let's move out of our own way!

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Go Ahead...Be Simply Fabulous!

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , , , , Saturday, July 28, 2012 7:29 PM


A confident woman is a woman who embraces her beauty,
shows her beauty, creates her own style, make no excuses
for her greatness
by ostracizing herself to fit in with other woman.
She is not fearful but fearless.
She teach others how to "own'" their greatness,
She speaks well of her haters & still manages to laugh when
people talk behind her back & laugh in her face because she realizes some
wish they could be her but she only is doing the world justice by walking in her
 God given purpose!
She is the woman who only wishes to create a fabulous life because she is
"Simply Fabulous"!  ~Stylicia~

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Be Yourself....

Posted by Yayux , Labels: , , , Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:17 PM

~Ralph Wado Emerson~

The defining of age has define my beauty, increased my confidence and help me embrace the beautiful woman that lies within. I am learning at this stage in my life to embrace my beauty in all forms, from my hair; short and chic, to my eyes, to the accent of my curves, to my soft brown hue, to my petite height. I am not ashamed to admit how beautiful I am, how smart I am, how brilliant God created me. Some may say this is pure conceit but I beg to differ, this my Darlings is what you call "CONFIDENCE". It took me a lifetime to accept me for who  I am now. I never got a chance to tap into the authentic woman I desperately wanted to become. The persona I created did not define the real me. Many people say be authentic, be real but we tend to live in a society where fabrication is accepted quicker than realness. Originality is described to be the state of having a freshness or newness that evokes a nontraditional persona. In 2011, I took time to examine myself and found out I was not the "Stylicia" I really wanted to be but just a fabrication of what others thought I should be for the sake of being polite. I am at a turning point in my life where I have decided to be true to myself and not allow anyone to define me. When I was in my 20s I was constantly trying to find out who I was so I went through different transformations in my hair, the way I dressed and much more. But when I turned thirty I realized I could not stay on this path I had to embrace the authentic me. When you begin to think of authenticity you think of realness, being bona fide and unadulterated. When you are authentic you are not a water down version of what others believe you should be for the sake of pleasing others. Authenticity has a class and charm that attracts other authentic people. It has been 9 months since I have been on this authentic journey and it has changed my life. There was a time I cared about what others thought of me and I spent time trying to explain myself. I finally got an "Aha" moment and realized  I do not need to explain or justify who I am to anyone. The things I need to improve God will help me improve overtime but until then the Lord will help refine those thorns to make them a beautiful flower. So instead of spending hours of imitating someone else look, style, and persona how about you be bold, daring enough to create your own edgy look through fashion and through life. Express who you are by being true to you...God has created us for His glory and He did not make us all to be clones of each other. The Lord is a God of variety and diversity from different shapes, sizes, skin tones and cultures. Embrace who you are and be the "authentic" you!

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