LOVE IN MY HEART

To that someone who will never be replaced,

I sat beneath the star-spangled sky watching you. You're laughing with your friends, cracking silly jokes with joy written all over your face. You're happy indeed and indeed you've missed them. It's been a long time since you have left. I missed your laughter, those eyes of yours that held all the beauty in the world and our moments, such memories filled with endless wonder. We could have died of happiness, or at least I could have.

Now you're back. Truly my prayers have been answered, that those long cold nights of crying were not in vain. It's sad though, how you forgot about me, how you ignored my presence, how I had to steal glimpses of you, how I sit here, here under this thick, moonless, black canvass craving for your attention.

I guess I have no more room in your heart. I guess all the roles in your little theater show have already been taken, that happiness is only a state of mind, a phony dream, a trap of wonderful promises. Still, I'll leave a space for you in my heart, in case you'll need me, in case you'll return.

Everything is happening too fast...

Time was utterly swift
It was unnoticeable
The winds came
it carried our memories
as it passes
You're all grown up now
You've moved on
Yet here I remain
Sitting under the stars
couldn't resist
the temptation of the past
sitting here...
Trying to taste the good times
Trying to feel how it was like

They were the best of friends but now it's as if they never crossed each other's path

They've been friends for quite a long time. The girl would always sing songs to the guy while in return the guy would compose dozens of poems. Every single word is infused with unfathomable passion and as every ink spills, so does yearning and love. Hers is the sweet voice that awakens the boy from deep slumber and the one, a soothing lullaby that cradles him to bed. There is no storm to intense for them to endure, no mountain too high for them to reach and no problem too big for them to overcome.
Their hands were held and their fingers locked as they walked through life. They became the light to each other's path, the strength for every weakness and the smile for every tear. Their love was far more sweeter than the sweetest honey, higher than the limitless heavens and deeper than the deepest ocean. The finest words could never portray the strong friendship that encloses them.

One day the boy asked: "would there be a chance that you fall in love with me?" "of course" the girl replied. The sweet exchange of words continued as new chapters of their lives began unfolding. It was the time to flip the coin and take a glimpse on the other side. A once pleasant friendship became a passionate romance. They were so engrossed into each other, engulfed by the warmth of the love they shared. They were immersed in the depths of each other's heart, so in love that they could write books about their love. As their eyes meet, seconds turned hours and as his lips press against the girl's the universe paused to witness such immeasurable love.

They broke up. Knife-life words spitting out from the boy's mouth piercing and wrecking the girl's heart apart. She was emotionally battered. In fact, both of them were for none of them thought this would have happened. None of them desired to put an end to their grandiose story. The sun hid behind the shadows of the clouds as lightning flashed across the sky. A few moments have passed and the heavens began pouring out its tears. The bright picture was filled with shades of agony. They embraced for the very last time whispering cold and unbearable words of goodbye

A couple of sunsets have passed yet the boy's heart remained wounded. He found himself trapped in a cage of regrets. His heart grew weak every passing moment longing for the girl's caress. He lost more than just a lover but a best friend. The roots that were once deep were easily plucked out. For two years the boy cried over his bestfriend. Tears kept rolling down his cheeks as he stab himself with letters the girl once wrote for him. The poems that were once overflowing with inexpressive joy, poems that were filled with a vast array of colors are now dull and dead. He had to endure 2 years of unending torment.

One day the boy asked if they could once again journey together, steal blissful glimpses from the past and head towards the future together lovers or best friends it doesn't matter as long as they're together the boy would be glad. "Can't we just forget what happened and write a new chapter in our lives? Can't we just hold on to the happy memories and use it to reignite the fire in our hearts? Can't we have one last chance? Can't we?" The boy clutched the girl's arms as he cried these words. The girl turned away and said: "What happened in the past stays in the past, to be honest I don't have any feelings for you anymore." The boy shook the girl's arms and uttered: "Look me in the eyes and say you don't love me! you're my best friend, you're the one person who knows me, who knows how I feel even without saying a word, the one who can look deep into my eyes and tell me how I am doing." The girl did what the boy asked. The boy was stunned. He stood there watching helplessly as the girl walked away from him.

Their book ended with that sorrowful conversation.
THE END.

They say that you don't know what you have until you lose it but I think it doesn't work that way. For me, you do know what you have, it's just that you thought you'd never lose it.

There was no sound in the room.
The blinding darkness spilled all over the scene.
The chilly winds were absent, gone with all the giggles and smiles.

He sat in the corner, crying
In his hand was a picture of his friend
A pretty young girl; long smooth hair, joyful smile
braced teeth, a bit chubby but cute,














Sweat rolls down his forehead every time the clock ticks
And as every minute pass, every blissful memory that appears
his grip of the picture tightens.

His clutches were on the image
His nails were clawing and scratching the surface
ripping all the colors out of the picture
There were sweat, tears and blood
And again, as every moment pass, the tighter his grip becomes

He remained sitting
hugging his knees with his arms
cradling himself to sleep
to shut his eyes that are out of tears
He wanted to rest
But he couldn't

He stares at the picture with unfathomable anger
He's betrayed
He's abandoned
He felt manipulated
He felt forsaken

If only words could define his anger
If only someone would sit with him and listen
If only his friend would explain herself
If...

Your face is still fresh in my memory
Like the first glimpse of a blooming flower in the beginning of spring
Your voice is still remembered by my ears
So lovely, just like the captivating psalms of David; alive and everlasting

Every minute of everyday I think of you
From dusk to dawn, sunrise till sunset
Yours is the magnificent voice that wakes my spirit up
the same voice, a soothing lullaby that cradles me to bed

Speak to me again oh my guiding star
Please do not conceal yourself from the clouds
See how I endure this unbearable crucible without you
Witness the overflowing tears rolling down my cheeks
falling on our picture
as if gently washing all our years and memories

My confidante, I never thought I'd lose you
Your eyes utter goodbyes and your actions speak rejection
What have I done for you to treat me this way?
Speak to me before it's too late
Are you still a friend or are you now a foe?

I wish I could hold you in my arms
As I do in my dreams
But while dreams fade away
My heart yearns for you.

"How could I let them go? How long should I hold on? They're my life, they're everything to me, I value them so much!"

It was a dream. I was wandering around the walls of a city walking on the concrete road bare feet and in pajamas. It was odd that there was nobody living in there, no sound of human interactions just the chilly winds pushing and pulling the sturdy trees. I hugged myself and struggled for warmth for the atmosphere grew awfully cold. There were no lights except for rusty old lamp posts along the alley. The panorama was engulfed in thick gray-dull and dead. The blue skies were gray and dark as if brewing a storm. The green grass and the rainbow painted flowers were as dark as the skies as if these living things were robbed of all the bright, joyful shades. There were buildings but no residents. there were houses but no homes.

I went pass a dark and narrow alley called 'memory lane' and below its sign says: 'he who's brave enough to face truth shall find answers'. Without second thoughts I decided to go in. The darkness of the alley as it narrows was like a bottomless abyss, preventing any light to escape its dreadful clutches. As I continued walking, I began to have an eerie feeling that the walls were somehow closing in on me. Desperate to find what's on the end and terrified by an eerie feeling, I ran in panic, gasping for air, struggling to keep my balance as I ran on the wet and slippery road.

A few moments later I paused for air. It seemed that the road was infinite and that I'm trapped in a middle of nowhere. That even if I keep on running, the road will somehow extend its length. I sat and cried. A few moments passed and the brick walls started to flash images.

Every time a person would ask me if I'm okay, I'd always say YES. Yes was always my answer to those people who find interest in taking a peek in my heart, that if I say that three letter word, they'd stop and leave me alone. When I saw the images of my friends that I lost I was crushed and devastated beyond words. I sat there wrapping my knees with my arms as my eyes failed to seize the tears from falling. My eyes were overflowing with tears and in every tear were words, letters expressing pain that as it hit the ground it would emit a sorrowful echo. If a person could think of word far more than crushed, devastated, ruined and destroyed, that would be me.

It came to me that pride somehow cloaked the true condition of my soul. As the memories unveil I saw the precious pieces of my heart drowning in a bucket of unbearable sorrow that it screamed for someone to pick it up and heal it. There were some pieces missing, pieces that were taken by those who left him alone, those who entered his door and swiftly left through his window. I cried and cried and cried.

My Almighty Dad came out of nowhere. He picked the pieces of my heart with his nail scarred hands, the same hands that wiped out my tears and cupped my cheeks. He stood up in front of me, carried me then hugged me. He asked me to let them go, to let all the bitterness and sorrow flow down the drain.

"How could I let them go? How long should I hold on? They're my life, they're everything to me, I value them so much!" I replied.

"I value my son too yet I gave Him up for your sake remember?" He said.

I was left without words to say only tears. A couple of silent minutes passed then I whispered: "They left with the pieces of my heart, how can I be whole again?"

He hugged me for the second time, only this hug was tighter and more intimate. His lips were right next to my ear and whispered: "Then let me fill the empty pieces with my love... I will be here when you feel like being quiet or when you need to speak your mind. When you need a shoulder to cry on, when you need a friend or a buddy, I will be here."

I looked back on the walls flashing the images of my friends. It was painful for me to let them go... really painful. I took a stone and smash it against the wall, seconds later the images fade. As the pictures vanished so did my bitterness. My Dad hugged me again, held my hands and left.

I know it was painful to let them go and living each day with that fact is even more painful yet I know God will never make me feel alone... No... NEVER.

It's when you feel alone and that nobody cares if you exist.

The sweet voices of the children I can hear, It was like an enormous swarm of bees heard and seen covering the entire place. The golden brown leaves falling from the trees, guided by the warm colors of the sun's spectrum somehow reminded me of how splendid my life was.

I sat beneath the grandiose oak tree where I once carved my dreams and happiness. The tree that witnessed every blissful moment I had, the sturdy monument that served as the library for my whole history now stands behind me singing songs I used to sing.

As I sit there I couldn't help but stare and watch those four foot tall angels giggling and running ,having fun to their heart's content. They were cracking and throwing jokes at each other, laughing like there's no tomorrow. I too have silly jokes and magical stories to tell, but how would I enjoy them when there's no one who'd sit and listen to me. I just sat there with a stick drawing faces on the dirt.

The innocent youngsters had roleplaying games. There were kings, queens, princes, princesses and warriors. The climbed the monkey bars and made a fortress, rode the seasaw and had unicorns. Me? I remained hushed in my seat kicking the leaves that piled up. I wasn't invited to their magical game but I can sure tell it's fun! Did you know that I have fascinating games too? Oh well, what would I do with these games when there's no one to play them with.

I stood up and went to sit by the swings to have my snack. I wanted to cry because no one would sit with me. There were many people around yet I don't know why somehow I felt lonely. I guess I'm just starting to miss the ones who used to played games with me.

As I sit alone waiting and praying for my playmates, I learned something: "It's not the number of people around you that determines your loneliness, it's your relationship to them."

What would you do with two hundred fifty strangers when all you need is four people?

The audible sound of the crowd from outside the room was vividly heard as Elijah sat silently in the utter darkness.

Help, I'm drowning.

They went towards the magnificent waters for a splash
The whole afternoon was blissful, filled with
laughter and smiles beyond description
They made sandcastles, collected shells and had
a little picnic.

The girl took the guy's hand
"promise me you'll love me forever"
The guy nodded... "yes"
They were a couple of inches away from the shore
They wrote their dreams and forevers on a piece of paper
Together, they folded it and made a little paper boat

All of a sudden, the sun vanished
The bright warm skies turned black
the water became cold and unbearable
The massive waves came between them
yet their hands remained intact
fingers crossed
not letting go

The girl was crying
her tears were rolling on her cheeks
her feet was struggling, fighting
the ocean that devours her
she was catching her breath
breathing...
panting...
gasping..
her picture was far from portrayal
She clutched the guy's hand
still not letting go.

The guy was in panic

confusion and pride consumed him
corrupted his mind
and hardened his heart
he lost his grip of the girl's hand
then swam towards the shore

The girl was stunned
her tears fell harder this time
seeing the guy whom he loved
departed from her
she cried for the guy's help
but he was on the shore now....
far from her...

The guy could've saved the girl

but he chose to wait on the shore
to wait for the waves to bring the girl back
it seemed like the ocean of agony
that tortured the innocent soul of the girl
mean nothing to him
I guessed he thought that since
the waves will bring her again
all he could do is wait
and apologize
apologize for choosing pride over her
for ignoring her tears
for unclasping her hands
for breaking his promises
for letting her go

She woke up crying...
crying because even in her dreams
the same thought of the guy leaving her
kept haunting her.

Questions left unanswered
words left unsaid
promises left unfulfilled.

In tears, She remained on her bed...

Life is too short.
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
Laugh when you can and apologize when you should
Let go of what you can't change
Love deeply and learn how to forgive quickly
Life is too short to be unhappy
You have to take the good out of the bad
To smile when you're sad
Learn from your mistakes and never regret
People change and there's nothing you can do about it
Leave the memories as they leave you
Run the race.

It was never really safe to wander at the streets in this kind of time but for four dancers who crave for unusual, out of this world fun, danger will never be a hindrance.

Dancers they were, dancers who grooved their bodies in the beat of the music technically known as 'life'. They were individuals who were somehow plagued with tremendous boredom, that they decided to gather and start that magical quest for this so called "fun".

These dancers are considered good in their... well considerable fields. They may have diverse dancing styles but they were surely united by this one genuine passion.

After getting their spines tingled by an ever so horrific movie, they got off to their feet and went straight out. Like a confused deer walking and navigating its way through the forest, they kept walking yet heading for an unknown destination. But it wasn't really the destination that mattered... it was the journey.

The span of travel carved authentic and temporary smiles on each one's faces (ay grabe ung isa bibo). The expedition lasted for about (I'm really not sure) an hour and a half but it seemed less that thirty minutes. Time was just so unnocticeably quick.

Resting upon the wide open spaces of a ball arena (court) they showed off their various gifts. No one's able to stop their madness! Their souls were amplifying as the music increases in volume (kala mo kay speaker hay)and as their bodies produce sweat. Spectators were around but it seemed like these dancers were just ignoring the irrelevant factors.

A few minutes later and the sun rose, it spelled end for the dawn adventure. I guess they were able to shake off the excessive boredom after all. Breakfast was so special that the scenario was just an exact replica of a "fear factor eating test" (jookkeee!)

The quest for fun ended without the unusual fun they expected, oh well, they just made the most of the 'fun' they have found anyway.

deviation by reynante.